In A Rough Marriage

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Has your relationship entered into the Fierce Woman-Fearful Man stage?

This is when there are walls all around you and mostly between you and your partner. Maybe the situation is even worse or more complicated as you possibly might have resolved to being separated – as a method of trying to fix your relationship.

However you find that, you feel as if you have grown further apart.

With all these marital problems you are wondering if there is any hope, or if things could ever any better. Yes! As long as both parties believe it… Single people – may be wondering why people get married. This is especially when you look at the statistics of divorce.  You are left with the question, If you should be thinking about marriage and if there is any hope for any married couples?

There is always hope…

  • If your marriage is in a dark season or probably has been for a while, then the following thoughts might resonate with you on a deeper level:
  • Will this situation ever get any better?
  • My partner is making no efforts to try and work on our relationship and I cannot even get him/her to accept couples therapy.
  • I have tried everything to make us better but my partner seems to be working against us.

Is there any hope for this marriage or should I just accept that time has come to go a different way…

Regardless of you marital difficulties it is important to understand and to know that it is perfectly okay to continue fighting for your relationship and things will definitely get better. Fractured marriages can be fixed and yours can become one of the success stories in a world filled with despair. You have to change your own mindset and begin to cultivate a positive mindset, tell yourself that there is hope and be expectant for that hope. What we usually focus on, magnifies and so if your focus is on all the bad that is within your relationship, then you will find your problems getting a lot bigger and you will feel like you are stuck in an ever sinking pit. If you shift your thinking and believe that this too shall pass, you will see your relationship make it through the season and getting better.

When faced with marital conflicts, the most common thing is to try and point fingers at your spouse. Its easier to focus and point out what the next person is doing wrong. During this period, it is a great place to have an introspection audit and figure out what qualities you have, that you need to work on. Work on those qualities that might be frustrating your partner and because you do not have the ability to change anyone, it is then important to lift your partner in prayer during your devotional moments. There is a higher power to work on a person and change their character. Whilst working on yourself, you must still maintain your faith and do not loose hope. Allow yourself to learn about yourself, and transform those traits about you that could potentially be escalating your marital issues.

Men are wired differently to women. Most men find it difficult to sit through therapy and talk about their emotions with a total stranger or it could simply be your wife who might be having a hard time trying to open up with a total stranger. Never forget that to get results you will need to work hard on your relationship and this might mean changing your approach to those areas where conflict seems to arise from. You do not have to accept unorthodox things so as to please your partner but maybe find a resolution by trying a different strategy. You could ask another married couple who is close and trusted by you both to assist you through the process. They are your friends and they might probably know how to mediate your communication issues and help your marriage get better. Or at least give some outside perspective.

No situation is ever permanent and it is important to remember that even relationships go through seasons. The sun will soon shine and your marriage will be healed.

Do not loose hope. Keep your faith and believe your story is one of the success one. You may then end up sharing with others who might need to hear it.

[Editor’s Note: Hope in time of turmoil in your marriage written by: Nyaree]

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